Being an Illinois fan is a bit, I don't know -- schizophrenic. We can reach unspeakable highs and unbelievable lows, all in a short span of time. In football that means two BCS bowls in the last twelve years... and also five seasons with a 1-7 or 0-8 conference finish. In those same 12 years, Illini Basketball went 74-22 in conference the first six years, including a title game appearance in 2005... and then 50-56 the last six years.

So as an Illinois fan, I feel uniquely qualified to write this. We've received invites to the Christmas party at Ohio State's house (Nebraska got crazy drunk), but we also found ourselves stuck at an office party with Minnesota, wearing a short sleeve shirt and a tie, talking to Purdue about the fiscal cliff.

Having gotten to know each fanbase up close and personal for the last decade or so, I present to you The Hater's Guide To The Big Ten For Terps Fans. Insider knowledge with just the right amount of Illini insecurity.

misterirrelevant