2008 Illini football season predictions
August 28, 2008 4:50 PM
Aug 30 - Missouri (St. Louis)
W 31-27 (1-0, 0-0)Missouri jumps out to a 21-0 lead, but the scales shift on the strength of the 18-deep Illinois D-line. Mizzou's offense grinds to a halt on 10-straight 3-and-outs, and Mizzou's defense gives up an average of 7 yards-per-carry on 60-straight Illini read-options.
Sept 6 - Eastern Illinois
W 56-0 (2-0, 0-0)Butkus gets tossed from the stadium after making "A regrettable error in judgment" running onto the field to jack up the EIU return man during the opening kickoff. Nevertheless, it's a great day in Champaign for the Memorial Stadium Renaissance Celebration.
Sept 13 - LA-Lafayette
W 42-19 (3-0, 0-0)Kinda sloppy, but as we learned last year, cupcakes serve their purpose. Later that night, 2005 beats 1989 at the Night of Legends.
Sept 27 - at Penn St
W 34-32 (4-0, 1-0)Whiteout! Arrelious Benn scores on a kickoff return, punt return, 5-yd fade to the corner, and 7-yd end-around pass to Juice with 10 seconds left.
Oct 4 - at Michigan
W 13-10 (5-0, 2-0)Illinois has beaten Michigan 4 times since 1867 (and half of those wins were the result of Wolverine point-shaving gone bad). Adjusting to last year's mistakes, the Illini send no one back to return punts, and no one is allowed to cross the line of scrimmage to apply pressure to the punter. Boring football ensues, but a win is a win.
Oct 11 - Minnesota (Homecoming)
W 60-3 (6-0, 3-0)Tim Brewster's squad will shock the world and win back Paul Bunyan's Axe in 2008, but on this day they will not win back the Illesota Lake Dragon Trophy. Basketball ensues.
Oct 18 - Indiana
W 56-6 (7-0, 4-0)Deron Williams cajoles Kellen Lewis to hit the town with him and the boys following the Bulls-Jazz exhibition. The following morning, Lewis is suspended due to an "unspecified disturbance" outside the Colonial Pantry on Green and Fourth at 3:37am. On the field, the Illini score 2 TDs per quarter.
Oct 25 - at Wisconsin
W 29-28 (8-0, 5-0)With time winding down in the 4th, the Badgers execute a flawless double-reverse hook-and-lateral bounce pass to regain the lead. With 46 seconds to go, Juice engineers a 3-play 61-yd drive to get within kicking range. Timeout with 2 seconds left, Zook rolls his 4-sided dice and sends in "Kicker Number Three!", and the Illini win on a last-second 47-yd field goal.
Nov 1 - Iowa
W 40-0 (9-0, 6-0)Illinois makes up for lost time and sends the Hawkeye program deeper into the Abyss of Non-relevance.
Nov 8 - Western Michigan (Detroit)
L 26-25 (9-1, 6-0)There's always that one game per season that you should win but don't. This is the one. Blame it on Detroit.
Nov 15 - Ohio St
L 27-20 (9-2, 6-1)The #1 Buckeyes—restocked with the best recruiting class in Big Ten history (including Terrelle Pryor and a few cyborgs)—come to town for a rare gigantic home contest in Champaign. (The ESPN College GameDay crew was going to come to campus, but decided upon New Mexico at Colorado St after the Illini's loss to WMU.) The Buckeyes are too hot to handle, too cold to hold, and get revenge for UI's 2007 upset. Ohio St goes on to beat Michigan 75-2 the next week, and Vandy 10-9 in the BCS Championship Game.
Nov 22 - at Northwestern
W 29-12 (10-2, 7-1)Attendance cracks 40,000 thanks to 38,000 fans in orange. Although Illinois did not win the Big Ten with the victory, the Illini faithful party like it's 1983 and tear down and throw each goal post into the lake.
Jan 1 - Rose Bowl vs USC
W 38-37 (11-2, 7-1)#2 USC loses a chance to avenge its early-season loss to the Buckeyes in the BCS Championship Game after being upset at home by Washington (they had injuries!). So, they settle for their 18th-consecutive trip to the Rose Bowl, again versus those orange guys from Illinois.
This time, Illini players and staff are smarter and treat the game like a business trip, no fun, no Disneyland. Illini fans are smarter by favoring sleeping in over the parade, and avoided the official alumni association tailgate.
Down 6 with 4 minutes to go, Juice Williams led a 22-play 95-yd drive capped by a 4-yd TD run on 4th-and-goal to win it, setting the table for the run to the 2009 National Championship.
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