Home
Forums
New Posts
Illini Basketball
Illini Football
Sports Talk
Log in
Register
What's new
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General
Chat
Jokes
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="illinirazorback" data-source="post: 272049"><p>Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.</p><p></p><p>He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.'</p><p></p><p>Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'</p><p></p><p>St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'</p><p></p><p>Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home in Iowa... The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.</p><p></p><p>A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'</p><p></p><p>'Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'</p><p></p><p>'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'</p><p></p><p>'Never,' said Ed. 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'</p><p></p><p>Ed did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!</p><p></p><p>Ed was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.</p><p></p><p>As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....</p><p></p><p>'Ed! Wake up! You sh!t the bed!'</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="illinirazorback, post: 272049"] Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.' Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.' Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home in Iowa... The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?' 'Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!' 'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?' 'Never,' said Ed. 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.' Ed did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ed was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell..... 'Ed! Wake up! You sh!t the bed!' [/QUOTE]
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General
Chat
Jokes
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
Accept
Learn more…