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<blockquote data-quote="bmb777" data-source="post: 410102"><p>* Lawyer: “Was that the same nose you broke as a child?”</p><p>* Witness: “I only have one, you know.”</p><p></p><p>* Lawyer: “Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?”</p><p>* Witness: “By death.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “And by whose death was it terminated?”</p><p></p><p>* Accused, Defending His Own Case: “Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?”</p><p></p><p>The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.</p><p></p><p>* Lawyer: “What is your date of birth?”</p><p>* Witness: “July 15th.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “What year?”</p><p>* Witness: “Every year.”</p><p></p><p></p><p>Lawyer: “Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?”</p><p>* Witness: “No. He was wearing a mask.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “What was he wearing under the mask?”</p><p>* Witness: “Er…his face.”</p><p></p><p>* Lawyer: “This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all?”</p><p>* Witness: “Yes.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “And in what ways does it affect your memory?”</p><p>* Witness: “I forget.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?”</p><p></p><p></p><p>Lawyer: “Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?”</p><p>* Witness: “Yes.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?”</p><p>* Witness: “Yes, sir.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “What did she say?”</p><p>* Witness: “‘What disco am I at?’”</p><p></p><p>* Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”</p><p>* Witness: “No.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?”</p><p>* Witness: “No.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?”</p><p>* Witness: “No.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”</p><p>* Witness: “No.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”</p><p>* Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”</p><p>* Witness: “Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”</p><p></p><p>* Lawyer: “Do you know how far pregnant you are now?”</p><p>* Witness: “I’ll be three months on November 8.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?”</p><p>* Witness: “Yes.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “What were you doing at that time?”</p><p></p><p>* Lawyer: “How many times have you committed suicide?”</p><p>* Witness: “Four times.”</p><p></p><p></p><p>* Lawyer: “She had three children, right?”</p><p>* Witness: “Yes.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “How many were boys?”</p><p>* Witness: “None.”</p><p>* Lawyer: “Were there girls?”</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bmb777, post: 410102"] * Lawyer: “Was that the same nose you broke as a child?” * Witness: “I only have one, you know.” * Lawyer: “Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?” * Witness: “By death.” * Lawyer: “And by whose death was it terminated?” * Accused, Defending His Own Case: “Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?” The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail. * Lawyer: “What is your date of birth?” * Witness: “July 15th.” * Lawyer: “What year?” * Witness: “Every year.” Lawyer: “Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?” * Witness: “No. He was wearing a mask.” * Lawyer: “What was he wearing under the mask?” * Witness: “Er…his face.” * Lawyer: “This myasthenia gravis — does it affect your memory at all?” * Witness: “Yes.” * Lawyer: “And in what ways does it affect your memory?” * Witness: “I forget.” * Lawyer: “You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten?” Lawyer: “Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?” * Witness: “Yes.” * Lawyer: “Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?” * Witness: “Yes, sir.” * Lawyer: “What did she say?” * Witness: “‘What disco am I at?’” * Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?” * Witness: “No.” * Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?” * Witness: “No.” * Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?” * Witness: “No.” * Lawyer: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?” * Witness: “No.” * Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?” * Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.” * Lawyer: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?” * Witness: “Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.” * Lawyer: “Do you know how far pregnant you are now?” * Witness: “I’ll be three months on November 8.” * Lawyer: “Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?” * Witness: “Yes.” * Lawyer: “What were you doing at that time?” * Lawyer: “How many times have you committed suicide?” * Witness: “Four times.” * Lawyer: “She had three children, right?” * Witness: “Yes.” * Lawyer: “How many were boys?” * Witness: “None.” * Lawyer: “Were there girls?” [/QUOTE]
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