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Foxworthy: *You Might Be From Illinois*

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Old Apr 23, 2009, 07:12 AM   #1
IlliniAmy
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Jeff Foxworthy on Illinois

If your last governor is headed for prison and the governor before him is already there,
*You might live in Illinois .*

If your latest US Senator lied to get the job,
*You might live in Illinois .. *

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,
*You might live in Illinois ..*

If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work there,
*You might live in Illinois .*

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,
*You might live in Illinois ..*

If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
*You might live in Illinois .*

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
*You might live in Illinois ...*

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number,
*You might live in Illinois .*
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Old Apr 23, 2009, 08:11 AM   #2
illini4everjp
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Since Foxworthy is from Georgia, my advice to him would be to stfu.
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Old Apr 23, 2009, 08:13 AM   #3
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As an Illinoisan, I found it hilarious.
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Old Apr 23, 2009, 09:17 AM   #4
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Well...if the shoe fits...

I agree with Amy. It was pretty funny. Foxworthy must be running out of redneck jokes.

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Old Apr 23, 2009, 03:46 PM   #5
jgreen87
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IlliniAmy View Post
Jeff Foxworthy on Illinois

If your last governor is headed for prison and the governor before him is already there,
*You might live in Illinois .*

If your latest US Senator lied to get the job,
*You might live in Illinois .. *

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,
*You might live in Illinois ..*

If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work there,
*You might live in Illinois .*

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,
*You might live in Illinois ..*

If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
*You might live in Illinois .*

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
*You might live in Illinois ...*

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number,
*You might live in Illinois .*
If you drive the same speed during a blizzard as you do during regular weather
*You might live in Illinois ...*

Heard that after driving home from work during a snowstorm and laughed pretty hard because thats exactly what I did. Got less funny as the days went on because that blizzard turned out to be that terrible ice storm a year or two back.

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Old Apr 23, 2009, 06:33 PM   #6
Illini1956
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Burris was not the only Illinois Senator to lie and get the job.
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Old Apr 24, 2009, 02:19 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by Illini1956 View Post
Burris was not the only Illinois Senator to lie and get the job.
and he WAS from Illinois.

If your a corrupt politician
*You might live or have lived in Illinois*

If your two best friends consist of a Domestic Terrorist and a Racist Radical Preacher
*You might have lived in Illinois*

If your then ignorant enough to vote for the dude for President
*You might live or have lived in Illinois"


:laugh::laugh::laugh:
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Old Apr 26, 2009, 09:53 AM   #8
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The problem with stereotyping Illinois is that it is such a diverse state.

For example:

You might have someone from Chicago who you'd describe as annoying, loud and overly proud.

Or, you might have someone from the suburbs who you'd describe as ignorant of everything outside of the suburbs. (Oh, and they say they live in Chicago when they do not).

You might have a small-town central Illinoisian who lives in a not-so-nice, industrial yet small town and is overly friendly.

You might have someone from a Peoria-sized city, who either lives in a giant home up on the bluff or in the not-so-nice areas.

You might have someone from southern Illinois that some would call a "redneck."

My point is that there isn't just one type of Illinoisian. And keep in mind, I am not saying any of these stereotypes are true; they're just what I've heard. But I still find the jokes hilarious.

A good example of how the ends of our state are different is that in Chicago, the winters are awful and last a long time. However, in somewhere like Carbondale ... it hardly ever snows.
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Old Apr 26, 2009, 10:04 AM   #9
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IF you're not funny
you might be jeff foxworthy.
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Old Apr 26, 2009, 03:43 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AK Illini View Post
IF you're not funny
you might be jeff foxworthy.
/thread

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Old Apr 26, 2009, 08:20 PM   #11
Illini1956
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Foxworthy is funny.
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Old Apr 26, 2009, 08:59 PM   #12
OlivetNaz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Illini1956 View Post
Foxworthy is funny.
Not really. His material is mostly the same...not really anything that I would call "new." His Illinois jokes are basically redneck jokes with a couple of words changed so that they aren't redneck jokes.

He USED to be funny. But the same style, same type of joke is only funny for so long before it gets to be a tired act.

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Old Apr 27, 2009, 08:54 PM   #13
Illini1956
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Sadly, he is still one of the funniest people in our current era. We do not have many comics, and doing standup swearing every third word is not comic. I occasionally watch comedy central when I am home enough. Some guys have some decent material, then start insulting Christians, main stream USA and begin swearing a lot.
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Old Apr 27, 2009, 09:29 PM   #14
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Hmm... according to this thread, people have different tastes. Who would have thought that?

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Old Apr 29, 2009, 10:51 AM   #15
Waam
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I found it to be quite true, and funny.

But after all the laughter...

Perception of an outsider should be taken seriously, even in the form of jokes.
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Old Apr 29, 2009, 01:01 PM   #16
Illini FF
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Funny? eh. Unfortunately mostly true.

Quote:
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,
*You might live in Illinois ..*
guilty
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Old Apr 29, 2009, 01:17 PM   #17
carlharvick38
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Funny??? YES! True? Most Definately!

Roy D Mercer is probably the funniest redneck I have ever heard. Check him out......"how big a boy are ya?"
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Old Apr 29, 2009, 01:18 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by carlharvick38 View Post
Funny??? YES! True? Most Definately!

Roy D Mercer is probably the funniest redneck I have ever heard. Check him out......"how big a boy are ya?"
Funny stuff.
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Old Apr 30, 2009, 12:15 PM   #19
carlharvick38
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Yah know whats funny about these jokes, it shows how stupid the north eastern part of Illinois is for electing these tools, but it shows how stupid a lot of Americans are for voting a politician from Illinois in as president.
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Old Apr 30, 2009, 12:34 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Illini1956 View Post
Sadly, he is still one of the funniest people in our current era. We do not have many comics, and doing standup swearing every third word is not comic. I occasionally watch comedy central when I am home enough. Some guys have some decent material, then start insulting Christians, main stream USA and begin swearing a lot.

sounds hilarious.
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Old Apr 30, 2009, 12:36 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by carlharvick38 View Post
Yah know whats funny about these jokes, it shows how stupid the north eastern part of Illinois is for electing these tools, but it shows how stupid a lot of Americans are for voting a politician from Illinois in as president.

Illinois minus the northeast part=Indiana, you?re welcome.
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Old Apr 30, 2009, 09:21 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by AK Illini View Post
Illinois minus the northeast part=Indiana, you’re welcome.

AK Illini = funnier than Jeff Foxworthy

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Old Apr 30, 2009, 09:23 PM   #23
carlharvick38
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Originally Posted by AK Illini View Post
Illinois minus the northeast part=Indiana, you?re welcome.
Illinois minus the northeast part=a better state with better politicians. You can keep the change.
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Old Apr 30, 2009, 09:27 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by illynifan34 View Post
AK Illini = funnier than Jeff Foxworthy
Jeff Foxworthy=Makes more money than AK

AK=Spoiled Spoonfed Chicagoan City boy
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Old Apr 30, 2009, 09:28 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carlharvick38 View Post
Jeff Foxworthy=Makes more money than AK
You know this for a fact?

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