Illini Coaching Staff

#702      

davesworld

Athens
What's the movie where the protagonist is eating popcorn with chopsticks? It's a bad 80's movie, I remember. Bruce Leroy!!
The Last Dragon... one of my favorites...
No, I would say the difference is ineptitude at the top.


Me, reading this thread rn
wv3.gif


Sent from my SM-G920P using Tapatalk
 
#703      
I just heard from a source that we'll be hiring Dennis Gates and Shane Heirman, getting commitments from Mark Smith, Tugs Bowen, and a 5th year C/PF, and running roughshod over the Big Ten next year.

BUT THEN, I heard from another source that Jamall Walker hasn't been announced officially because he's defecting to Missouri after all and taking Tilmon, Smith, and Da'Monte with him. Gates and Heirman are not interested according to the second source and our actual staff will consist of Thomas Walkup and a former student manager from SFA. Third assistant (our "Chicago guy") is purportedly a can of cream of mushroom soup with eyes and a mustache drawn on it.

We'll see which trusted source hits closer to the mark.

LOL

I choose to believe the story about a can of mushroom soup! Question is how good are his connections and is he simmering, I mean stewing over a better offer?
 
Last edited:
#704      

foby

Bonnaroo Land
I just heard from a source that we'll be hiring Dennis Gates and Shane Heirman, getting commitments from Mark Smith, Tugs Bowen, and a 5th year C/PF, and running roughshod over the Big Ten next year.

BUT THEN, I heard from another source that Jamall Walker hasn't been announced officially because he's defecting to Missouri after all and taking Tilmon, Smith, and Da'Monte with him. Gates and Heirman are not interested according to the second source and our actual staff will consist of Thomas Walkup and a former student manager from SFA. Third assistant (our "Chicago guy") is purportedly a can of cream of mushroom soup with eyes and a mustache drawn on it.

We'll see which trusted source hits closer to the mark.

I heard the can of soup was a lock for head assistant at IU. Great News!
 
#705      

Deleted member 380722

D
Guest
My goodness there are some mamalukes on this board. Would love to see Powell on the staff. He could really resonate with in state recruits. Would be a dynamite addition.
 
#706      
Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays.

John Phillips wrote about days like this...

“Monday Monday, so good to me,
Monday Monday, it was all I hoped it would be
Oh Monday morning, Monday morning couldn't guarantee
That Monday evening you would still be here with me.
Monday Monday, can't trust that day,
Monday Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be
Oh Monday Monday, how could you leave and not take me.
Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
You can find me cryin' all of the time...”
 
#709      

sacraig

The desert
Based on your username and "dysfuntion" in your post, you seem to like replacing "i" with "y". Maybe you should replace your pessimism with a wait-and-see approach.

To be totally fair to our friend up there, "dysfunction" is the correct spelling, so he left out a 'c' but did not swap an 'i' with a 'y'.
 
#710      

Deleted member 11241

D
Guest
Date: 2 months ago
Location: Illinois Loyalty message boards

Guy A: "Maybe John Groce just needs to make some changes with his assistant coaches. Bring in an X&O guy, maybe a former head coach that can help with offensive and defensive schemes"
Guy B: "You're crazy if you think that is gonna do any good. That is just like rearranging the deck chairs on a sinking ship. It all falls on the head coach"
Guy C: "Yea, anyone who thinks that changing assistants will make a difference doesn't know much. Assistants are basically just for recruiting and skill development"
Guy D: "I agree with these guys. If changing an assistant would make that much of a difference then we have the wrong guy leading this program. It all lies on his shoulders for failing to run effective offensive/defensive sets and having his team prepared to compete on game day"

Date : Today
Location: Illinois Loyalty message boards

Guy B: "OMG!! We didn't get one of his assistants from OSU. What's gonna happen?? This is all falling apart"
Guy D: "This is bad news. I can't believe it. We are doomed for certain"
Guy C: "Yea, this is definitely not good. This is gonna be John Groce redux. We are gonna fail miserably"
Guy A: "Jeez everybody chill. It's just one assistant coach. Our head coach will be able to teach his system to any new assistant coach and player. Just have to get someone who can recruit well and teach skill development. The sky isn't falling people"
 
#711      
Look at what Cuonzo is doing at Mizzou. Poaching assistants from other programs without knowing if they can even blow a whistle and carry a clipboard.

And it wasn't that many years ago that IL high school coaches were banging the drums to get one of their own promoted. What happened to that concept? A high school coach can easily become a top flight college assistant, right? Eh?

JW and BU already knew about the OSU assistants long before this board ever found out. And inside sources indicate that there is a whole closetful of resumes in the athletic office.
 
#712      

Illwinsagain

Cary, IL
What in the world is happening in this thread? One piece of bad news and the sky is falling. Have some prospective people. We just pulled off a universally praised hire, retained a sought-after assistant and still have a great recruiting class coming in.

As BWood has mentioned several times, he's been in the biz a long time and has relationships all over. We have the biggest asst pool in the B1G. We will hire quality assistants.

The first time something goes erong and people go off a cliff. We are.much more up than down.
 
#713      
Well, good grief. Let's just bring back Dustin Ford so that Canadian pipeline can start flowing again. Or Paris because that was such a fruitful hire. We brought in a guy who can coach circles around Groce and we want to act like none of that was possible without his assistants? Yeah, ok.
 
#717      

Foggy Notion

San Francisco
I just heard that Brad Underwood's favorite ball boy decided to stay on at OSU. Oh the humanity!
 
#722      

MainelyIllini

uh, Maine
Well I heard Crean just bought some land in Mahomet. Word on the street is he's the new DOBO. You heard it here first!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
#725      
Look at what Cuonzo is doing at Mizzou. Poaching assistants from other programs without knowing if they can even blow a whistle and carry a clipboard.

And it wasn't that many years ago that IL high school coaches were banging the drums to get one of their own promoted. What happened to that concept? A high school coach can easily become a top flight college assistant, right? Eh?

JW and BU already knew about the OSU assistants long before this board ever found out. And inside sources indicate that there is a whole closetful of resumes in the athletic office.

Cuonzo is hiring guys with more time assisting in women's ball but who have a history of producing D1 talent.

Anyone realize that Frank Martin started as a high school assistant and high school head coach for many years prior to being a college assistant?