You are trying to be cute (i.e., tap dancing) but you are really beating a dead horse with repeated arguments against a pretty simple statement. But I'll answer anyway.
11 (and obviously 11+) wins against this schedule should indicate that we are a good team, with good wins, a tournament team, a team that we should feel very confident/safe to make the tournament. It is actually not much different than your own statement "teams that win 12+ conference games are good teams, they have good wins and are going to be playing in the NCAAs regardless," although less general, I am talking about this team and this schedule, a pretty favorable but not lopsided schedule. It does not mean a high seed, neither does it mean that there is an NCAA guaranteed/threshold (as there is not even at 12).
I have not seen the entire pre-conference schedule (other than what announced) but an Illini team with 11+ conference wins in this B1G schedule should have enough wins in pre-conference (do not expect miracle turnaround in B1G) and even if we happen to slip a game or two, there would be some benefit of doubt as a team not full strength early on (Abrams, Lucas, Thorne - not fully conditioned, Black suspended, Kipper out, etc.).